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How to start 'financing' your hobby
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mauriceb



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 1051
Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 9:11 pm    Post subject: How to start 'financing' your hobby Reply with quote

The following are step-by-step instructions on how to get your significant other to let you spend thousands of dollars on this time-consuming, money-wasting, terminally addictive hobby of ours. This is not intended for everyone; if you are the 'master of your domain' and you do not need approval from anyone to squander your money, then you can skip this altogether. However, if like most of us mere mortals, you have to answer to a 'higher power', then this guide may be what you need to loosen the purse strings of your beloved.
Note: This method can also be applied for pursuits other than flight simulation. However, if you are reading this, you are a flight simulation junkie and very little else matters at the moment except getting your next fix of simulated jet fuel fumes.

Here are the step-by-step instructions designed for monetary challenged people. I am assuming you are a married male, but this can also apply for those with girlfriends, live-ins etc... Do not skip any steps. If you think you are macho enough to bypass some steps, you may find yourself with a terminal case of grounditis (stuck to ground syndrome).

1. Some abbreviations first:
Item 1= Harley Davidson Ultra Classic Electra G
Item 2= Cessna 172
Item 3= ~ 30 foot yacht
Item 4= Anything else you might fancy (must be very expensive)

2. The timing:
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT attempt to follow these instructions during your wife's 'lady days', or 5 days before or after.

3. The assumption:
It is assumed your wife knows about your interest in aviation and/of flight simulation. If not, you really need to establish that first.

4. The setup:
Choose a day on a long weekend preferably and reserve a table in a very nice expensive restaurant, preferably one with a thick carpet (you'll understand why later) and with tablecloths on the tables (she is much less likely to scream in a restaurant that has tablecloths than in a noisy East-Side Mario for instance).

5. The sting:
After sitting down in the restaurant, order some drinks and wait a little while until your better half appears to be in a very good mood. Throw in some compliments on her looks, but do not overdo it. You do not want to raise suspicions.
Following the first course, casually say something like this: You know sweetie, I have been thinking about buying Item X (replace X by one item from list above). After saying that, gently help pick her up off the floor (thus the need for thick carpeting). While she is gasping for air and getting ready to blast you, act very concerned and respond pre-emptively with something like this: Sweetie, I did not mean to upset you; you know I would never buy something that expensive without your approval. I was just toying with that idea and since you seem to disapprove, the matter is closed. You are much more important to me than item X.
Hopefully, your wife will immediately feel a surge of love for you for being so responsible and for taking her feelings into consideration. She should then say something like that: Honey, I would love if we could afford to buy you Item X, but you know this is not really possible now in our situation. To which you respond: I quite agree, that was pretty foolish of me; maybe someday that might be possible but definitely not now.
IMPORTANT! After saying that, try to show the most pathetic & sad face you can manage to muster, and stay very quiet & pensive.

6. The 'kill'
She is now primed for the final assault. Here is what you say now (with very few modifications): But you know, I do really need something to keep me sane & content at home. How would you feel if I started on a 'small' project to build a home flight simulator. It still would eventually cost a 'few' thousands, but I could start small with only a few hundreds, and only spend more as we can afford it.

If all goes according to plan, she should now be so relieved that you are not going to spend mega bucks for item X, that she will gladly agree that this is a good idea. What she does not know now cannot hurt her, and you will have plenty of opportunities to explain to her later why you need this special tool or special interface card. That will bore her to death and she will tune out and resign herself to being a flight sim 'widow'.

7. The upkeep
You got her to approve this madness; you must now make sure she does not retract her approval. Women can have the most amazing memory for things that you have done 'wrong' (in fact, they never forget), but they can quickly forget any commitments they may have made. So, make sure that you act quickly & start spending enough that you reach a committed state where even your wife would agree it makes no sense to stop now. Also, make sure you keep showering her with compliments, sweet nothings, flowers now & then and a few days in a SPA. This last one has a double benefit; she is in 'heaven' and your day is free to do as you please.

One last warning; don't, I repeat, don't under any circumstance let her read these instructions. If she does, you are dead meat and the only flying you will do will be real flying on your way down the stairs. Finally, if nothing works in your case, do as I did; act pitiful enough & she might let you spend the money just so she does not have to look at your face.

In case you are a woman reading this, please take the above as a testament to your common sense, maturity & wisdom. Why else would we need to rely on such cheap tricks to achieve our childlike fantasies ?

Maurice


Last edited by mauriceb on Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:56 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Fabio Miguez



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 73
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Absolutely stunning, Maurice, I'm in my second year of marriage, and I can see I'll be coming to you for advice very often.

Was that you that wrote Women Are From Mars, Men Are From Venus, or vice-versa? If not, I believe you are very acquainted to it! Your mastery in the matter shows.

In my case, we both reached an agreement of a simple kind. I get my sim, she gets a ring. THE ring. It will probably cost the same as the sim. I shall never understand women's fixation with jewelry, as she will never comprehend my fixation with simulators, especially since at every third purchase I hear "But don't you have several of these sims at work?".

Best regards,
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warvet



Joined: 15 May 2004
Posts: 1298

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maurice all I can say is hahahahahahahhahahhahaha! Very Happy Very Happy Too funny my friend. I thank god every day that my wife loves my sim almost as much as me. But for you unfortunate souls who have a different kettle of fish to fry see Maurice he'll save your marriage and help your sim get built. In closing I'd just like to say hahahaahahahahahaha Very Happy Very Happy Srry Maurice but your hilarious. Keep it up my friend.

Tim
A340
Canada
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MattB



Joined: 18 Jan 2004
Posts: 60
Location: Brampton, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 8:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheer brilliance!

I, however, plan to take a different tack and have the simulator around before I marry. She'll know exactly what she's getting into well before we take that stroll down the aisle.

Heck, I might even let her fly the thing from time to time.. Twisted Evil Wink
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mauriceb



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 1051
Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all for your misguided compliments. It's obvious to me that you thought this was a somewhat humorous account of how to manipulate your better half, when in fact, this was dead serious. We, as men, must pool our resources to fight the female domination & manipulation in a marriage or live-in arrangement. I realize that even the most optimistic of us know this is a losing battle that we don't have a prayer of winning. But we must not give up. How else are we supposed to fulfill our childhood dreams in our middle or late stage of our lives?

Perhaps we should pool our resources and publish whatever winning strategies we stumble upon. No more cowering like desert rats. Let's all soar like Eagles in our earthbound virtual flight decks. Imagination is the only thing that will keep us young, since marriage surely won't.

Matt, you are young & still very naive. Don't ever think that your wife won't try to change 'your ways'. Yes, you will fight it tooth & nails, but eventually, you will get tired & resign yourself to the facts of life. Women always get their way; it may take some time, but their stamina & determination is simply amazing. If you don't believe that, just go to a crafts show and see the men following their wives footsteps. Look closely at their faces & sad eyes and you will see the same resignation that the wilderbeasts show when they know the hyenas have won. They just lay there while they are being torn to pieces. Sorry for the graphic picture, but you need to be brought back to reality quickly. Know what you are getting into beforehand, and your upcoming marriage will be much smoother & more likely to last. Trust me, I've been there....twice.

Maurice
P.S. I LOVE my wife (Shhh in case she reads this Very Happy )
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MattB



Joined: 18 Jan 2004
Posts: 60
Location: Brampton, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And I've already been there once m'self Smile No marriage planned yet.. gotta find a girl first Wink

However, before I go and do that, I'm going back to school first. Somewhere in there, I'm going to build a simulator.. a very bare bones one, but a simulator nonetheless.
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jackpilot
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Apr 2004
Posts: 937
Location: Montreal

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maurice...how pessimistic...your public transit twist maybe!!! Rolling Eyes
Let me tell you, I most often than ever got it to be my way...the consequence of which I am on my 5th attempt to make it work!!!

Maybe you're right after all....well I might be a bit exhausted! That's why I'm gonna stick with FS4K!! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Stay unreasonable YESSSSSS..buy your everwanted toys and lure in a young lady!!! Idea
The best way to squander Your hard Won $
Tim, What d'U think of that? Laughing
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Full B737-800 DSTD/Sim-Avionics P3d4
ALL FDS & OEMs (+custom TQ)
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mauriceb



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 1051
Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="jackpilot"]the consequence of which I am on my 5th attempt to make it work!!!
quote]

Was that your 5th attempt at getting your marriage to work, your 5th marriage, your 5th attempt at getting this darned flight deck to work, or a combination of the above? Laughing Laughing

Maurice
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jackpilot
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Joined: 25 Apr 2004
Posts: 937
Location: Montreal

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

....5thMarriage....Second sim....NO problem with Sims they always work or can be fixed...why? ....they have a Switch!!!!! Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maurice,

Spot on. I did somethign similar, actually cost me a 7 day cruise though.

We just bought a new home and I had my eyes Twisted Evil set on the garage. My first attempt was to convince her that the family sedan would not fit...that worked up until the day of inspection and she demanded I try to pull it in. To my shameful dismay the car pulled in perfectly with inches to spare on either side.

But hope was not yet lost, how could I had to live there and continue building my empire, so I enlisted renforcements...THE IN-LAW. I am privileged to have a mother-in-law that thinks highly of me.

Now that didn't come cheap either, since my mother in-the-law had to bring along her two daughters, I had to baby sit 5 kids..FIVE...I survived though.

Back to the conquest...so my ally basically used the following reasoning. Your wonderful husband bought a 1900 sq ft. home, he has provided a wonderful life thus far and he has conquered world hunger...and all he is asking back is 200 sq ft. of non-livable space. As this went back and forth down stairs, I was licking my chops upstairs putting orders in to FDS, OpenCockpits, Ebay and the like for all the gear....


So I echo Maurices advice, you have to approach this with seriousness and cunning...(if my wife ever reads this I bequeath my pit to the sim community)
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mauriceb



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 1051
Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jackpilot wrote:
....5thMarriage....Second sim....NO problem with Sims they always work or can be fixed...why? ....they have a Switch!!!!! Laughing


5th marriage ???? Didn't know you were such a glutton for punishment, especially with no switches to turn them off Laughing

Maurice
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mauriceb



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 1051
Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anonymous wrote:
I enlisted renforcements...THE IN-LAW.)


Hmmm!!! Think In-laws as allies. Now that is a creative, if somewhat 'unusual' approach. That is one of the great things about this hobby; one is forced to explore creative alternatives. Now, excuse me for a moment; I feel this tremendous urge to send flowers to my mother-in-law. Twisted Evil

Maurice
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Pete737



Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 64
Location: Providence, Rhode Island, USA

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, how about this. First you...........Oh wait , Im the master of my domain! Sorry guys Twisted Evil Laughing

-Pete
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mauriceb



Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 1051
Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario - Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pete737 wrote:
Hey, how about this. First you...........Oh wait , Im the master of my domain! Sorry guys Twisted Evil Laughing

-Pete


If you are married & REALLY THINK you are, I know a good therapist who can flush out those delusional tendencies of yours. Better still, I can provide the therapy for a lot less money (and you can pay me in Canadian dollars for even more savings) Laughing

Maurice
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MattB



Joined: 18 Jan 2004
Posts: 60
Location: Brampton, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mauriceb wrote:
If you are married & REALLY THINK you are, I know a good therapist who can flush out those delusional tendencies of yours.


Hey, if he's going to have delusions, he might as well go for the really satisfying ones, right? Laughing
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